Inside-Out (4/20)

[ibonekoen]

I relay the exchange between Casey and me, adamant that he knows somehow what’s going on inside my head and that he’s toying with me like a cat with a mouse. Unfortunately, the janitor’s closet shares an air duct with the adjacent girls’ bathroom.

Something I would have remembered if I was thinking clearly. I’m not, though, and the next time I show up at school -- which admittedly is three days later -- I’m getting some. . . interesting looks.

Even Stokely’s avoiding me. She’s walking down the hall this very moment with Stan. Her eyes widen as she sees me and she quickly tugs on Stan’s arm, trying to get him to turn around and go another way.

Stan looks confused. “Stokely, your math class is this way.” I hear him tell her.

“I know a shortcut.” she insists.

I take the hint. Oookay. . .

No, I gotta find out what’s going on. . . Why is Gabe and his athletic band of thugs coming toward me, staring at me?

“Oh shit.” I hear Stokely say. “This is going to get ugly.”

“Hey Zekey boy, where you been?” Gabe says. “Miss Burke’s missed you.” He pauses, glances at his thugs on his left and his right, then looks back at me, smirking. “Oh wait, that’s right. You got a new toy to play with.”

“Huh?” I grunt, immediately copping an attitude. “The shit between your ears is starting to leak out your mouth, Gabe. What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You and that geeky Connor kid.” Gabe says. “Always knew you were fucked up, man.”

Stokely groans, shaking her head.

I glance over at Stokely, smelling the grease on the rumor mill. Oh shit.

“Whatsamatter, Gabe?” I say snidely. “Jealous? Sorry honey. You’re just not man enough for me.”

Hey, if I’m going down, I’m going down big.

Going down. Great. Great choice of thoughts. Fuck.

Gabe glares at Stan, who’s snickering.

“Yeah, fuck you, Zeke.” Gabe says, turning his glare to me. “I’ll show you a fucking man.”

He balls up his fist and punches me right in the stomach.

If you’re not sure, yes, that hurts. Which pisses me off. I look up at the jock, my eyes narrowing ferally.

What follows is, in my opinion, the greatest fight in the history of Herrington High. I didn’t see how it ended, due to me being unconscious, but I managed to take down four of Gabe’s buddies before the remaining two beat me to a pulp. Of course, Gabe conveniently disappeared when I started fighting back. Pussy.

Yeah, see, if I had stuck with pussy, I wouldn’t have just woken up in an ambulance. Could someone turn off that noise please? And get me a fucking doob.

“Zeke, man, you’re awake.” I hear Stokely say. Huh? What? What’s she doing here?

“Bro, you scared the hell out of us.” she mumbles as she leans close. “And no, I didn’t spread the gossip. Nice job, by the way.”

“Fuck you, Stokely.” I mumble as best I’m able. I’m not in the mood. I hurt.

She winces. “Zeke, man, I’m sorry. Look, for what it’s worth, I feel bad. I forgot the janitor closet had an air duct that connected to the girls’ bathroom.”

“I did too.” I admit. “But it gave me a. . .chance to kick Gabe’s buddies’ asses. I, uh, I did kick their asses, right?”

Stokely grins, nodding. “Oh yeah. Most of ‘em, anyway.”

“Good. Saves my rep.” I say. Ow. It hurts to grin. I don’t think anything’s broken though. Just bashed. “How’s Casey?”

Ahhhhhhhhhh! That sounded gay, didn’t it?! Holy shit, I’m gay! No! I don’t wanna be gay!

Stokely smiles. “Casey’s fine. Stan and I have been watching out for him. Gabe won’t fuck with Stan.”

“Oh. Okay.” I say, then try to sit up. Whoa, okay, so this is what raw hamburger feels like. “Fuck. Fuckin’ jerks.”

“Hey, man, take it easy.” Stokely says, looking concerned. “Those jerks would’ve killed you if Mr. Furlong and Mr. Tate hadn’t heard the commotion.”

She sighs. “So now what?”

“Now what what?” I ask, playing tough. “I feel like hell for a week, smoke a lot of drugs, then start carrying a knife when I go to school. Simple, see?”

She rolls her eyes. “I meant about Casey.” she says. “You couldn’t see it because you were in the middle of getting the shit beat out of you, but he came out of one of the classrooms to see what was going on. Zeke, I think he’s got the hots for you.”

“Ha ha Stokely. You’re hilarious.” I say flatly. Shit, will she give this a rest? It was never funny.

“I’m not kidding, Zeke.” Stokely insists. “Ask Stan. He saw it too. Casey was really worried about you. If he could’ve, he would’ve jumped into the middle of the fray.”

“He would’ve gotten flattened.” I insist as I check my ribs. “He probably just feels guilty. Or totally creeped out. If I were him, I’d be creeped out. Fuck. Fuck what a fucking mess.”

Stokely shrugs. “There’s only one way to find out.” she says. “Zeke, admit it. You think he’s hot. It’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t make you any less of a man just because you like Casey.”

“I don’t fuckin’ know what I think.” I insist. “You seem to know way more about what’s going on in my head than I do, Stokes. Look, Casey and me went through some pretty serious shit together. That might be all it is.”

“What if it’s not?” she asks. “I mean, look at me and Stan. The Incident brought us together and we’ve managed to stay that way.”

She shrugs. “At the very least, you’ll help Casey get over Delilah. I’m worried about him, Zeke.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am too.” I admit softly, nodding. “She’s a. . .well, I’m thinking a word I shouldn’t use around girls.”

I cough weakly. Ow. Oh do I hate jocks.

“Bipolar bitch?” Stokely supplies. “Look, Zeke, I’m hardly a delicate flower. Nothing you could say would probably shock me.”

She brushes her hair out of her eyes, which are devoid of black eyeliner. It’s still weird to see her looking. . .girly. “Casey needs somebody to love him, Zeke.”

“I don’t know if I’m capable of loving anyone, Stokes.” I admit. Ew. I’m being honest. This is bad. “I tend to stick to just sex. I mean, I was picturing him in black leather, for fuck’s sake. That’s not exactly the romance of the decade. Besides, I’ve got complications. Namely a certain teacher.”

Stokely raises her eyebrows. “Mmm. Casey. Black leather. Nice mental image.”

She shakes her head, blinking. “Whoa, okay. Not going there.”

She rubs her forehead above her left eyebrow. “Right. Miss Burke. C’mon, Zeke, you can’t tell me there’s anything serious about that relationship. It’s just you fucking around with her because you know she’s intimidated by you. Besides, maybe being with you would do Casey good. Help him grow a backbone.”

“Can you PLEASE not use Casey and ‘bone’ in the same sentence?” I mutter, running my hand over my face. My cheek’s pretty swollen, but my nose isn’t broken. I think I got really fucking lucky.

“Sorry.” Stokely mutters. “Zeke, I think if you gave yourself a chance, you’d surprise even you. Just because you had a fucked-up childhood doesn’t mean you’re not capable of love.”

She shrugs, shaking her head. “But whatever. It’s your life. You want to keep staring at Casey pathetically, knock yourself out.”

“Well, the whole fucking school thinks I’m gay anyway." I mutter. “Guess that’s why she hasn’t been calling me. I thought that was weird.”

“Could be.” Stokely says. “What do you see in her anyway? She’s so. . .mousy. Even Casey’s not as wimpy as Miss Burke.”

Something dawns on me then. Oh fuck.

“I like people who seem innocent.” I admit. “If I got into it, you’d get weirded out. Trust me.”

Stokely looks intrigued. “Try me.”

I sigh. Ow.

“Ever heard that song by the Offspring?” I begin.

Comments

[roxymissrose.livejournal.com]

I'm enjoying this look inside of Zeke's head. I like the way he's kind of a dick, but a likable one. Interesting. I look forward to seeing him really deal with his atttraction to Casey.