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ibonekoenTitle: Sunday Morning Reflections
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ibonekoen
Rating: PG
Summary: One Sunday morning, Zeke reflects on how his life has changed.
Author's note: This is written forholycitygirl and ragnarokskurai, who have both posted such lovely stories lately that it's kicked my own muses into gear. ♥♥
Zeke has never been more thankful for three-day holiday breaks from school. For the third morning in a row, he has woken up with Casey in his arms. He looks at the back of Casey's head, feels the way their bodies are spooned together, and he is filled with a warm, fuzzy feeling that extends from his head to his toes. He is almost overwhelmed by the intensity of euphoria he gets simply from being close to Casey. It almost scares him.
Okay, that's an understatement -- it scares the shit out of him. He knows he's becoming attached and that, in his mind, is a dangerous thing. He knows he has abandonment issues -- what kid wouldn't after his parents deliberately walked away when they felt he was old enough to take care of himself. He'd been hopeful the first year that they wouldn't forget him, and when his birthday passed without so much as a call from them, he'd been disappointed but had held onto the belief that they'd come back for Christmas.
They had returned, but they hadn't been the same as Zeke had remembered. His mother had seemed very distant and flightly and his father hadn't said much of anything. They'd stayed one night and when Zeke had woken up the next morning, they were gone.
He'd had only sporatic visits and phone calls since then. He'd learned to swallow the disappointment, to bury it deep inside and try to forget about it. He'd also learned to keep his expectations of people low, so that he would never be so disappointed again.
Except Casey had by far exceeded his expectations. Whenever they were alone, he was very relaxed and comfortable with Zeke. He was even beginning to be a little affectionate in public. Sometimes they would be in school, walking down the hall, and Casey would brush his hand against Zeke's, sending a tingle up Zeke's arm. In private, Casey is a minx, teasing and torturing Zeke with pleasure. He'd been a quick learner and had taken well to Zeke's lessons.
Then there was the little things about Casey that Zeke is beginning to love, like waking up with him in his arms and nuzzling against him in his sleep. Zeke has even caught himself watching Casey sleep. He just looked so peaceful and angelic. Even listening to Casey breathe has come to soothe Zeke.
And it scares him. Because he knows he craves affection, knows he needs it, and Casey seems all too happy to give it. He can easily see that he and Casey need each other -- Casey needs someone to love and Zeke knows he needs someone to teach him how to love. Zeke's even stopped using scat in favor of being with Casey and he feels much better for it.
He still worries that Casey will leave him like his parents did. Part of him is bracing himself for that inevitable day; he tries to hold back his heart, keep it encased in a brick wall so he can't feel. . .but every day, a little piece at a time, Casey is chipping away at the wall, and Zeke knows that soon it'll crumble.
A small voice inside of him whispers that Casey isn't like his parents, that Casey will stay and love him. The voice sounds a lot like Casey and Zeke is slowly beginning to believe it.
Casey stirs in his arms and turns over, nuzzling his cheek against Zeke's chest as his arm drapes over his waist and his leg settles around Zeke's. The intimacy of the embrace overwhelms Zeke and he buries his nose in Casey's hair. "I love you." he mumbles, not sure if Casey is awake enough to understand what he's saying.
He feels Casey's lips move against his chest and hears a soft whisper, "I love you too." It makes him smile, and he drapes an arm around Casey's shoulder, feeling oddly safe and secure.
Author:
ibonekoenRating: PG
Summary: One Sunday morning, Zeke reflects on how his life has changed.
Author's note: This is written for
holycitygirl and ragnarokskurai, who have both posted such lovely stories lately that it's kicked my own muses into gear. ♥♥Zeke has never been more thankful for three-day holiday breaks from school. For the third morning in a row, he has woken up with Casey in his arms. He looks at the back of Casey's head, feels the way their bodies are spooned together, and he is filled with a warm, fuzzy feeling that extends from his head to his toes. He is almost overwhelmed by the intensity of euphoria he gets simply from being close to Casey. It almost scares him.
Okay, that's an understatement -- it scares the shit out of him. He knows he's becoming attached and that, in his mind, is a dangerous thing. He knows he has abandonment issues -- what kid wouldn't after his parents deliberately walked away when they felt he was old enough to take care of himself. He'd been hopeful the first year that they wouldn't forget him, and when his birthday passed without so much as a call from them, he'd been disappointed but had held onto the belief that they'd come back for Christmas.
They had returned, but they hadn't been the same as Zeke had remembered. His mother had seemed very distant and flightly and his father hadn't said much of anything. They'd stayed one night and when Zeke had woken up the next morning, they were gone.
He'd had only sporatic visits and phone calls since then. He'd learned to swallow the disappointment, to bury it deep inside and try to forget about it. He'd also learned to keep his expectations of people low, so that he would never be so disappointed again.
Except Casey had by far exceeded his expectations. Whenever they were alone, he was very relaxed and comfortable with Zeke. He was even beginning to be a little affectionate in public. Sometimes they would be in school, walking down the hall, and Casey would brush his hand against Zeke's, sending a tingle up Zeke's arm. In private, Casey is a minx, teasing and torturing Zeke with pleasure. He'd been a quick learner and had taken well to Zeke's lessons.
Then there was the little things about Casey that Zeke is beginning to love, like waking up with him in his arms and nuzzling against him in his sleep. Zeke has even caught himself watching Casey sleep. He just looked so peaceful and angelic. Even listening to Casey breathe has come to soothe Zeke.
And it scares him. Because he knows he craves affection, knows he needs it, and Casey seems all too happy to give it. He can easily see that he and Casey need each other -- Casey needs someone to love and Zeke knows he needs someone to teach him how to love. Zeke's even stopped using scat in favor of being with Casey and he feels much better for it.
He still worries that Casey will leave him like his parents did. Part of him is bracing himself for that inevitable day; he tries to hold back his heart, keep it encased in a brick wall so he can't feel. . .but every day, a little piece at a time, Casey is chipping away at the wall, and Zeke knows that soon it'll crumble.
A small voice inside of him whispers that Casey isn't like his parents, that Casey will stay and love him. The voice sounds a lot like Casey and Zeke is slowly beginning to believe it.
Casey stirs in his arms and turns over, nuzzling his cheek against Zeke's chest as his arm drapes over his waist and his leg settles around Zeke's. The intimacy of the embrace overwhelms Zeke and he buries his nose in Casey's hair. "I love you." he mumbles, not sure if Casey is awake enough to understand what he's saying.
He feels Casey's lips move against his chest and hears a soft whisper, "I love you too." It makes him smile, and he drapes an arm around Casey's shoulder, feeling oddly safe and secure.
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(no subject)
10/1/11 18:14 (UTC)Gorgeous.
(no subject)
10/1/11 19:49 (UTC)Thank you for commenting :D