Inside-Out (19/20)

[ibonekoen]

Oooh, only one more chapter left!  And I know, I know, some of you are going to threaten to kick my ass because this chapter is short. . .I promise I'll make it up to you in the next post!

 

After I drop off Casey at his place that night, I give Stokely a call, lighting up a smoke as I wait for her to answer. Ahhhhh nicotine. The weed I can take or leave now, but cancer sticks. . . not so easy.

Stokely picks up on the third ring. "Hello?" she says.

"So? Did you find out anything?" I ask. Hellos are for weenies.

"Oh, Zeke, it's you." Stokely says, sounding a little disappointed. "I was hoping you were Stan. . ."

"Anyway, I asked Casey what he wanted for his birthday at lunch." she says. "He said whatever I came up with was fine. I asked him to be a bit more specific and he told me the one thing he wanted most wasn't something that could be bought."

"Did he elaborate?" I ask, intrigued. Ooh! Another Casey word! Ba-ing!

"Yeah." she says slowly. "He wants to move out of his parents' house. He didn't actually tell me where he wanted to move to. . .but I think I got the idea."

"Yeah, he mentions that almost every day." I admit. "What the fuck can I do though? I mean, I'm not gonna start shit with his parents."

"Actually I don't think you have to worry about that." Stokely says. "I think Casey's planning on starting the shit himself."

"Should I be expecting a permanent houseguest come Saturday night?" I ask, not sure how to feel about that. Casey's parents are loser dweebs, but at least they give a fuck.

"Yeah probably." she says. "Are you okay with that?"

"Personally? Fuck yeah." I admit. "I just hope he isn't making a mistake, you know?"

"He doesn't seem to think he is." she says. "Man, you should see his face when he talks about you. He honestly, truly loves you, Zeke."

"Stokes, do you love Stan?" I ask abruptly.

"What?" she asks, sounding startled. "Yeah, of course I do." She chuckles lightly. "We're actually talking about getting an apartment after graduation. We're going to college, maybe in Chicago."

"Why?" she asks curiously.

"How'd you know?" I ask pointedly. "Like, what made you sure?"

She's silent for a moment. "Well," she says slowly, "I spent the night at his house one weekend when his parents were out of town. I woke up the next morning, in his arms, and it was. . .the most wonderful feeling I'd ever had. And I found myself imagining waking up like that every morning for the rest of our lives. It felt right. It felt. . .perfect. And I knew."

"Weren't you worried you were confusing sex with love?" I ask curiously. Maybe I'm overthinking this love thing.

"No." she says, chuckling. "Because I knew, in my heart, I'd never felt like this before with anybody. With Stan, it's way more than sex."

I nod in response, even though I'm on the phone and she can't see it. Yeah, it's definitely way more than sex. I'm just afraid of what that means. Great.

"So who's all coming on Saturday?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Me and Stan, obviously." Stokely says. "And Charlie Gagliardi said he'd come. Rebecca Muncer, you know, the girl with the hideous braces? She's bringing some of her friends. If you want the truth, Zeke, I think just about the whole school will be there, with the exception of Delilah and her crowd, of course."

"Huh?" I grunt. "Ha ha. Very funny Stokes. Seriously. Who's coming?"

"Dude, I'm not kidding." she says. "Charlie overheard me telling Stan. The minute the word 'party' was mentioned, it was all over the school. And you know high school kids and parties."

She pauses for a moment. "Okay, okay, so maybe not the WHOLE school, but maybe. . .a little over half?"

"Where am I going to put over a thousand kids at my house Stokely?!" I exclaim, sitting forward. "And I can't supply THAT much! Casey'll get pissed! You know how he feels about the drugs, even though he does them himself sometimes."

"Dude, they're not going to be there all at once." Stokely claims. "And not all of them are going to be doing the drugs anyway. Chill out. It'll be fine."

"That's gotta be the only reason they're coming, Stokes." I insist. "That many people aren't coming for Casey, unless it's to stare at the freaky queer kid who turned the school bad boy. . ."

I can't help it. I laugh a little at my next thought.

"And has a cock like a horse."

Hahahahahaha!

Stokely giggles. "And Delilah dumped him. . . Guess she couldn't handle it, huh?"

She sighs. "I dunno, Zeke. It's too late to cancel. Word's already gotten around. Besides you're like Mr. Chemistry Set. Can't you just mass produce several batches of your wonderdust?"

"Not with Casey around." I mutter, rubbing my forehead. "Fuck. Fine. I'll see what I can do tonight. Shit, he'll kill me if he finds out."

"Nah, he loves you too much." Stokely says. "Besides, as long as you don't get caught and nobody gets hurt, what's the harm?"

"Yeah. Yeah you're right." I admit reluctantly. "Okay, I better get on this. See ya tomorrow Stokes."

"See you Zeke." she says.

I hang up.

******

I'm pretty sure I don't sleep more than three hours the rest of the week. Between homework, banging Casey, making up enough wonderdust to keep five hundred kids flying, banging Casey, and spending time with Casey so banging ensues, my calendar's pretty packed. By Friday morning, I'm falling asleep in class.

Casey nudges me during English class, looking concerned.

"Hey, you're snoring." he whispers. "You okay?"

I look over at him weakly, barely able to open my eyes.

"Yuh." I manage. Well, that was supposed to be 'yes.'

"You look exhausted." he says, frowning. "What are you doing at night instead of sleeping?"

"Missing you." I mumble, grinning. Hey, even half asleep, I'm still pretty smooth.

He grins, blushing. "Oh, I see."

He glances around, then leans close. "The journalism room isn't used during lunch." he whispers. "You could sneak in there and take a nap."

He smirks. "Or we could just take the rest of the day off."

"Naps're. . .good." I mumble before I end up drifting off again.

Casey wakes me up at the end of class. Okay. Now I feel better. A nap in the journalism room. Right. He wants to pull a Delilah. I'm not complaining.

"So, are you gonna 'nap' with me?" I ask as I wait for him to unlock the door. Nap. Right. Casey's so cute.

"Sure, if you want me to." Casey says, smiling as he unlocks the door, then pockets the key. He pushes the door open and enters the room, flipping on a light.

"There might be a blanket, in the cabinet." he says. "Justin McLamore usually curls up under the computer desks and sleeps." He shakes his head. "I don't even know what Justin is doing in journalism."

"A blanket. How thoughtful." I say cheekily, closing the door behind me. I move in behind Casey and squeeze his ass brazenly. Yeah. Nap.

He jumps about a foot in the air, then glances over his shoulder at me. "I thought you wanted to sleep." he says, scolding. Then he grins.

"I slept in English class." I point out, grinning back at him wickedly. "Besides, I want you more."

"Ohhh, I see." Casey says, his eyes twinkling. "You want me more, huh? And what exactly are you wanting to do with me, hmm?"

"Pretend I'm Delilah." I say playfully. "What do you say, tiger?"

"Ooooh, sounds like fun." Casey says.

He gets this wicked grin on his face and walks across the room. He stops beside a blue desk, the surface neat and organized. There's a desktop calendar and a cup filled with pens.

"This," he says as he pushes the calendar and cup aside, "is Delilah's desk."

He winks at me as he sits down on the top of the desk.

"Perfect." I say with a grin, moving in to breathe on his neck.

"So babe, are your parents going to let you stay over again this weekend?" I murmur in his ear.

Casey shivers, sighing softly. "Yeah." he says. "They're taking me out to dinner tonight."

"Zeke, I'm going to tell them." he says softly.

Whoa. Things suddenly got really serious here, didn't they? Uh oh.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" I ask, trying not to seem too panicked. "They're gonna freak, Case."

"They're gonna freak eventually anyway." Casey insists. "I mean, I'm gonna have to tell them sometime, right? And I think. . .well, I think Mom suspects. I don't know how she knows, but she's always asking when I'm going to bring home a girl."

"Yeah but. . .does it have to be this weekend?" I ask, looking pained. This is the problem with surprise parties. Ugh.

He frowns slightly. "I. . .guess not." he says. "I just. . .I'm not ashamed to say I love you, Zeke. The whole school knows it, so why shouldn't my parents?"

"Yeah, I understand that." I say quickly. "Just. . .tell them next weekend, baby. Please? Just one more week? I just don't want anything taking you away from me this weekend."

He chuckles, shrugging. "Um, okay. I guess I can wait until next weekend. I don't see what the big deal is about telling them this weekend, but I'll wait."

He smiles and leans toward me, kissing me.

Relief washes over me as I determine I'm spared from the horror of a drug party without Casey snuggles. That thought boggles my mind for two reasons: one, I'm actually not looking forward to a drug party, and two, I'm craving snuggles.

He brings one hand up to rest on the side of my neck, his thumb brushing against the bottom of my ear. His other hand slides around me to rest in the middle of my back as he deepens the kiss.

So, yeah. We do the nasty on Delilah's desk. Think she'll notice?

Yeah. She'll probably notice. At least I hope she'll notice.

It's great sex, too. The kind where the world falls away and I forget everything but who I'm with and what we're doing. It's probably not too smart to let myself go that much, considering this isn't a very private place, but with Casey I allow myself the slip.

Afterwards, as we're getting cleaned up and dressed and everything, Casey looks at me, this contemplative look on his face.

"I know you won't say it back to me, Zeke, and you'll insist that I'm just confused or change the subject or whatever -- and I'm okay with that -- but I love you." he says. "Really and truly."

"I know, Case." I say with a nod, feeling a lump form in my throat. I actually want to respond in kind. Really badly. But that would ruin tomorrow night. Which would suck, if you're not sure.

He smiles, looking a bit sad. "Just as long as you know." he says. "That's all that matters."

He shakes himself, then smiles brighter. "We should probably get going." he says. "The bell will ring any minute and Delilah likes to get in here pronto. Get a jump on things."

"Oh really?" I ask, my eyebrows shooting up. A slow grin spreads across my face. "Sounds like a reason to stay to me."

Casey stares at me curiously. "Uh oh." he says. "What exactly is going on inside that deviously creative mind of yours, lover mine?"

"Sometimes things're more fun when you get caught." I hint, pulling him back toward Delilah's desk.

He laughs, letting himself be pulled along. "Oh, she's going to flip out."

At that moment, the bell rings. There's the usual sounds of kids laughing and yelling in the hall, then the unmistakable sound of a key being inserted into a lock and turned.

"Oh god Case." I say loudly, grabbing him and mauling him thoroughly, being sure to put on a good show. Heh heh heh, fair warning Delilah.

"What the fuck?" I can hear Delilah say through the door.

Casey moans loudly. "Fuck me, Zeke, please!" he begs just as the door opens and Delilah walks in.

"What in the FUCK are you two doing?!" she screeches as she slams the door shut behind her. She's staring at us, wide-eyed.

I just keep going, pretending not to notice her, brazenly kissing Casey's neck, idly wondering if seeing this is getting her hot. Wouldn't that figure?

Casey shivers, moaning again. "Oh god, Zeke." he says as he tilts his head back.

"That is MY fucking desk! Save your porno session for home!" Delilah cries, though it's with less of its usual 'oomph.'

I can't help it. The thought of home porno sessions makes me lose my concentration. I look over my shoulder, then almost burst out laughing at the look on her face.

"Oh. Hi Delilah." I say pleasantly, then make like I'm going to undo Casey's pants. Ohhhhhhhhhhh boy her face is BRIGHT red!

"Fuck you, Zeke." she hisses weakly.

"No, that would be my job." Casey says, smirking. "Piss off, Delilah. Can't you see we're busy?"

"Mmmm, and you're so good at that job, baby." I purr, grinning openly before sucking on Casey's earlobe. Choke on it, Delilah.

Casey shivers, moaning, as his hands start moving my shirt up my back.

"Oh my god!" Delilah says. "Don't you two have a class or something to go to?"

"It's called skipping, Delilah." Casey says breathlessly. "You don't have to watch. You can leave at any time."

"I don't mind if she watches." I murmur in his ear. "I trust you, baby."

Actually, I do mind. Deliliah's gross. But this isn't about honesty. This is about what people at school expect from me. Strangely though, it's harder to do lately. I guess because I don't do it all the time.

There's a brief flicker of hesitation across Delilah's face, then she glares at us. "That's fucking sick. Like I'd want to watch you two fags."

"I don't see you leaving." Casey snaps.

"I shouldn't have to." Delilah hisses. "This is the journalism room. I am supposed to be here. You two are not. Get out. Go find some place else to fuck."

I stop at that, suddenly serious.

"Two what?" I demand, turning around and glaring at her. "What the hell is that about, Delilah? Okay, so you want Casey back, but I was playing nice."

"Oh, so you're not a fag?" Delilah says, crossing her arms over her chest. "That's funny. I thought a guy who fucked another guy was a fag. You have a different definition?"

"Delilah-" Casey starts to say but she cuts him off.

"Shut up, Casey, this is between me and Zeke." she snaps.

"A 'fag,' Delilah, refers to the bundles of sticks they used to set people on fire with." I retort. So I'm becoming something of a history buff. I associate it with sex now. "That's why the British call cigarettes 'fags.' At least come up with something more original, like butt pilot or snake charmer. Come on!"

Casey glances at me and bites his lip, trying not to giggle.

"Whatever." Delilah hisses. "The point is still the same. What's the matter, Zeke, did Miss Burke get boring?"

"Delilah, stop it." Casey says. "What do you care anyway?"

"Who said I did?" Delilah snaps. "I'm more concerned that it's my desk your ass is sitting on."

"Oh come on Case, we've already established she wants to tag in." I interject. "But apparently we're 'fags,' and therefore have no interest in women, so I guess she's out of luck."

I'm not even going to respond to the 'Miss Burke' thing. That's just too messy.

"Wait, what?!" Delilah shrieks. "I never said that!"

She shakes her head. "Fuck this shit. I am out of here."

She glares at us. "Disinfect the desk when you're done." Then she stalks out of the room and slams the door.

Casey looks at me, blinks and then starts laughing.

I grin, but that's pretty much all I'm able to do at this point. This kind of stuff is starting to wear me out. That's the thing about feeling good. When the bad stuff keeps happening, it's harder to deal with.

Casey stops laughing and looks at me curiously. "You okay?" he asks, reaching out to caress my cheek. "You seem. . .I don't know. . .not exactly sad. . .but not exactly happy either."

"I'm fine." I insist, managing a smile. "Delilah's tiring, is all. You? She's your ex. I don't give a fuck."

In fact, however, I do. She called Casey a 'fag.' She's lucky she's a girl, or I would've kicked her ass.

"Delilah's a bitch." he says. "The look on her face when she first walked in. . .that was good. The rest. . .I could've done without."

He sighs, then shakes his head. "So," he says as he wraps his arms around my neck, "I vote we take the rest of the day off, go to your house, curl up in your bed and snuggle."

He grins, then touches his forehead to mine as he rubs noses with me.

"Sorry babe. I won't provoke her anymore." I promise, touching his cheek affectionately. "Snuggling sounds good. I think I need it."

I smirk and shake my head.

"Never thought I'd hear myself say that." I admit.

"I know what you mean." Casey says, smiling. "But you know, any time you need or want snuggles, feel free to tell me."

He kisses me tenderly, then pulls back, blushing. "C'mon. Let's go."